What are your dreams?
I stared at those words on the page, waiting for something to pop into my head. Squeezing my eyes shut, I dug and dug into the depths of my mind.
Nothing.
What are my dreams? I have no idea.
Why didn’t I have a vision for my life and my future? I wrestled with the thought of it…
No dreams? How is that possible?
Dreams are what kept me sane during the most difficult moments of my life.
As a child, I had TONS of big dreams.
Yet, here I was, 37 years old and . . . no dreams. My life was far from finished, but I had been in survival mode for so long, I had simply forgotten how to dream.
It’s understandable how I got here. The past 10 years had been hijacked by things out of my control, from staring into the face of death myself, watching my 6-year-old son do the same two and half years later, to having a new baby who would be on insulin by 9 months of age, miscarrying his baby brother five years after that, and all of the emotional and financial repercussions of surviving these challenges.
My dreams had been crushed so many times. Could I dare to dream again?
This book that I was reading at the time, Mentored by a Millionaire by Steven K Scott, would prove to be a life changer for me. It promised to teach me the “master strategies of super achievers”. Key amongst those strategies, was having big, clearly defined dreams.
It took some courage, but eventually I connected with my inner dreamer again. She took over and never looked back . . . until now.
I pulled that book from the shelf today, and nestled safely inside, I found the pages on which I had written my dreams all those years ago.
I couldn’t help but smile as I began to read through them. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face as immense gratitude had overtaken me. Reading through my thoughts from 13 years ago, I instantly connected with 37-year-old me and I couldn’t help but be impressed with all she had done to change the course of her life.
37-year-old me wanted to be a good example for her children. She dreamed of owning her own business and saw herself as a strong writer, but saw a weakness of “not enough know how of writing” to make money at it.
So, she went back to school (while she homeschooled her four children AND worked part time AND volunteered at her church and in her community) and she got a bachelor’s degree in business education.
My heart gushed as waves of memories came up as I turned through page after page of fulfilled dreams.
It’s so easy to forget where we were years ago and the progress we’ve made. We all do it.
In a sense, we put our heads down and just do whatever it is we need to do to survive today. We sprinkle that with fun and family and we just keep moving forward, often without realizing just how amazing we really are and all that we’ve overcome.
But, if you take a moment to incline your eyes and ears you will recognize God sending you reminders of who you are and just how awesome you are in his eyes.
He sent me such a reminder today.
In the midst of all this reminiscing, a theme which had been reappearing over the past week arose one more time.
Awkward confession time …
I have written and published 3 books. I’ve been paid handsomely to write for several multimillion dollar companies. I have my own blog. And I am currently ghost writing an autobiographical story that is slated to be made into a movie.
BUT (and here’s the awkward part), I don’t call myself a writer. It feels foreign for me to think of myself that way. I’m not sure why.
Writing is almost as natural to me as breathing. It’s just something I do. And, I’ve come to realize that there is a disconnect in my brain between what it is that I do and what it is I think I do in terms of my identity as a business owner.
I’ve always seen myself as a teacher. It is a thread that has been woven through my entire life. I LOVE to teach and it comes to me easily (Ok, except for the one time when I was 19 and my boyfriend, now husband, asked for help with his algebra, to which I replied, “I can’t explain how, you just do it.”).
If you asked me, I might introduce myself as a teacher, but I have never introduced myself as a writer.
Weird, huh?
Yet, in the past week, I’ve been approached to partner in an author coaching program. Someone else asked me to teach a group of Bible school students how to author and publish their own books. A young author sent me 10 chapters of his book to read through and give feedback. And I’ve had 4 people ask to join my Called to Write a Christian Book Facebook group—a group that I started in 2016 and never really did anything with.
And as my eyes perused the pages of dreams from years ago, I was genuinely surprised to see the abundant references to being a writer. I had long forgotten the plans 37-year-old me had for writing numerous books. Could that list of future titles be waiting for me to breathe life into them? I must admit, there are some really good ideas on that list!
No wonder I am having trouble presenting myself in the marketplace. I don’t even know who I am.
Can I be both? Can I be a writer AND a teacher? Which role will people be likely to cast me in? How will they see me?
[shareable]Dreams are the hopes that live in your heart waiting to manifest. ~Leslie Graham[/shareable]
Dreams are the hopes that live in your heart waiting to manifest.
My dream today hasn’t drifted at all from the #1 dream on my list years ago: To fulfill my purpose. I believe that writing and teaching are both a part of that. But not the entirety of it. My purpose feels bigger than that. There is more to discover, for sure, but I see the answer emerging. I can’t wait to see what else comes up in this discovery journey.
What are your dreams?
Who could’ve guessed that this simple question could lead me down a totally new path and forever change my life? No longer did I “survive”. That one question changed my thoughts and .
I want the same for you, my friend, so I must ask…
What are your dreams?
I’d love to hear about them. Please let me know in the comments below.
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